Hi,
Ah yes, I bet that subject line made you perk up in your work chair a little bit.
I can hear the thoughts racing through your mind now...
"Johnny is so likable and handsome - why the heck is he going to prison?"
"I bet it was white collar crime. No way those professional bloggers actually pay their taxes and such."
"He deserved it. I don't know why, but he just seemed way too awesome. To good to be true."
Well I hate to spoil the surprise for you today... but no.
I am not going to prison.
To my knowledge I haven't done anything wrong outside of lying to my teacher in first grade and telling her that my dad was an astronaut. Besides you sin as much as you have to, to survive...
I mean he does work at Boeing for NASA, but 6-year-old me thought that I should spice the story up a bit for more effect.
Anyway, here's the deal...
Let's say that I did happen to go to prison for something.
Truth be told, I would be 100% prepared.
You see... I have known since at least junior high that I would have zero chance of surviving in that environment without a little help. Some training, if you will.
That's why in my adult years I've been studying extensively and training in Kun-fu since being a teenager.
It all started when my wife and I got Netflix vs Blockbuster or CATV several years ago.
At first, we would watch normal stuff.
Old movies, 'Friends' re-runs, and all of the other lame stuff that Netflix had before the content became awesome in the last few years.
But there was one show that always piqued my interest...
'Lockup.'
If you aren't aware, 'Lockup,' is possibly the most interesting show ever created.
They take cameras into maximum security prisons all over the country and film everyday life there.
And I've got to tell you - I've learned so much.
For example, did you know that Honey Buns are currency in prison? (Hence, what you see in everyday life with kids whose pants ride too low) ...
And did you know that you can send messages through the toilet?
Now here's what I've learned after my years of research through 'Lockup':
I still definitely wouldn't survive in prison, no matter how much training I have. I'm too frail and weak, both mentally and physically, inspite of my training.
But at least if I did go to prison, I wouldn't be surprised that I didn't last long. There's a victory in that.
I would have never discovered this truth if I hadn't cut the cable, videotapes and started watching an alternative.
And there's a good chance that you, too, would like a solid alternative to cable (or even a cheaper alternative to your current streaming service).
Fortunately for you, I have the perfect resource for you:
Here are 17 of the best cable alternatives for 2020 to save money (some of them are free).
- Johnny
P.S. - Happy Friday and thank you for putting up with my ridiculousness.
Here are some other ways I can help you:
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From: Millennial Money Man <bobby@millennialmoneyman.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 6, 2020, 1:39 PM
Subject: Here's my plan for surviving prison
To: <joaoa.dsilva2019@gmail.com>
This email may contain affiliate links. All opinions are 100,000% my own.
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