How do you hold your spoon?

Hi,

Happy Thursday!

For some it's "a day of celebration" - Hari Raya - a holiday, continuing happiness Eid Mubarak! Have you ever had a person in your life that you just could not get along with? Maybe your mother-in-law or next-door neighbor or another parent or a co-worker, somebody? A person that takes everything you do or say in the worst possible light, or alternatively a person that just bugs you and grates on you, no matter what? A person that makes your skin crawl just being in the same room? Like chalk screeching across a chalkboard.

I think we probably all have. Sometimes there are people with whom we just don't click. Maybe because we upset the demons in them or ourselves. They might have done something at one point that offended us, or we offended them, and neither party has been able to move on. They might have a strong personality that we find hard to take, or there might be something about our own personality and mannerisms that they just don't like. It could even be a jealousy thing—they are jealous of us, or vice versa, a friend jealousy.

And sometimes it is all just a big misunderstanding. In fact, not too long ago I was reminded of this in a couple of very big ways. In one case, I inadvertently did something that deeply upset and offended another woman, and from that moment on she began to read into every move I made, took everything personally and took every word or action on my part as a direct assault on her, even though none of what she was assuming was actually true, my intentions were pure and innocent. When it finally all came out, and wash the dirty laundry, we were able to clear the air, it made me realize just how clouded and with tunnel vision, tainted our vision can become when we don't like someone very much. It was a good lesson, because the truth is that with another friend this week, I was the one who was reading everything wrong and taking everything personally, when it really truly wasn't intended that way at all. And once again, when we were finally able to hash it out, it was clear that there truly was no real malice there. My perception of I'll wind, had clouded the truth. One of my all-time favorite quotes is from Irving Becker, who said "if you don't like someone, the way they hold their spoon will make you furious. If you do like them, they can turn their plate over in your lap and you won't mind." I love that quote because it is such a good reminder that sometimes we are quick to judge, judge people a whole lot more harshly than we should, simply because we just don't like them very much. For whatever reason—valid or not—we started out on the wrong foot, and that negative perception clouds our view of what they do and say to this day. And while sometimes there really is no hope for salvaging a damaged relationship, I think a lot of times it is mostly our skewed perceptions—or the other person's skewed perception of us and self-pride thereof—that get in the way. My guess is that there might be at least one or two people in your circle that fall into this camp, and so my challenge for you this week is to take the time to examine your own perceptions. Is the way they hold their spoon making you furious (or vice versa?). Perhaps it's time to clear the air, or at least start giving the benefit of the doubt. The results might just surprise you! That's all for now—live with purpose friend, and have a fantastic weekend! Live, simply. Laugh, often. Love, deeply! Cheers, Joao xoxo, Jon- jon P.S. Don't miss our Semi-Annual Sale happening in the Living Well Shop right now! This is your chance to get our game-changing Living Well Planner® for the lowest price of the year. If you like following an academic calendar and want to start using it in August, I'd definitely get your order in today! Grab it HERE.

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